I've been thinking a lot about Eleanor's name. About why we chose and the people who influenced it. Honestly, I was convinced we were having a boy, so NOT seeing those little boy parts made my jaw drop, literally. We had joked the whole way there that the tech would tell us we were having a girl and not a boy, lo and behold...how jokes became truth.
On the drive home, giddy with news and excitement, we started talking names.
I'm not sure what it is, but this became a very big deal for me. Naming someone...well, it's their name. It's your name. You have it for the rest of your life. It's a big deal. I wanted her name to mean something, to stand for something. I wanted to name her after people and things that were heavy, big, important, and just for her.
Blair is really the one who named our girl. More than me. We hadn't ever talked about using two middle names, but in the end, that's how it worked out. I'm ok with it (shoot, her four cousins ALL have two middle names...I would list them, but that....that would take a lot of time...) (Love you Nate and Lori!). As we sat and talked and threw names out, Blair says,
"What about Eleanor Amanda Ray?"
Believe me or don't, but in that moment, I knew what her name was. I knew that was who she was. I knew that these were the people that I wanted to influence her life.
Eleanor, for Eleanor Roosevelt, a great a lady. She said once "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." Brilliant. Blair also just loves the name, and I was sold because I could shorten it to Ellie. I'm convinced that I want ALL my baby girls to have nick names that end in "ie" just like their Momma. It's a thing, just accept it. :) ALSO, Eleanor is the real name of the character Ella, in the book Ella Enchanted. Note, this is in reference to the BOOK and NOT the MOVIE which was a train wreck which ruined a literary masterpiece.
We're nerdy. I want all of our babies to have some sort of book attached to their names as well. I do. And I love it.
Now we come to the Amanda. After the two Amanda's in my life...
Every now and again, we are blessed with people who understand us and who truly want the best for us. My two best friends have been through a lot, and helped me through a lot as well. We have fought and been angry at one another, we have misunderstood one another, and we have gone through long periods where one of us couldn't speak to the other. I have seen them both at their worst and at their best and I love them. Whole heartedly. They are...some of the best people I know. I never thought...I didn't think I would ever name a baby after either of them, but when Blair suggested it, it made perfect and wonderful sense.
I want Ellie to know what it means to be strong. I want her to know what it means to respect others who are different than you, who grew up differently. I want her to know what it's like to make friends with people who may not believe what you do, but who love love love you and support you. Both of my Amanda's are this type of person in my life. I can't...I can't begin to tell you how they've impacted my life. They've left foot prints on the map in my heart and they are tattooed there, forever, as people who I have to be close to. Even if we end up on the other side of the country, we will still be close, because I hold them close.
My husband is a brilliant man, for knowing just how much these two people mean to me, and allowing me to name our daughter after two people who I hope and pray will always be part of my little girl's life.
Ray.
Ray is...Ray is a weighty name. I might cry while I tell you about this name, because I'm hormonal and Beauty and the Beast and Harry Potter made me cry last night...
This past December, my family watched as my mother's father went from home to another. It was hard. We love him and to see him such a state...it was hard. I knew I was pregnant at the time, and this was at the beginning, with all the sickness. The last time I saw my Papaw, he could barely speak, and barely move. I said good bye and that I loved him, and he pointed to me and said "I love you." And then he gave me and my daughter a gift that I will treasure forever, he pointed to my barely showing belly and said "I love you too." I might have told this story here before, but I don't care. Like Mary, I hold it close to my heart and store it there as a treasure.
When he finally got to leave this world, Blair and I decided that in some way, we would honor him with our new little life, the first great grandchild who doesn't get to meet Papaw. His name was Raymond, and for our little girl, we shortened it to Ray.
One of the coolest things about the name Ray though, is that it's not JUST for my Papaw. My Mother, probably one of the best people I'll ever know, also has his name for her middle name, Pamela Ray. Add to that my big brother Nate, my twin just born a few years ahead of me (We are so so so alike...) who was named after both his grandparents, Guy Raymond.
I love my family, and the friends who have slowly become part of that family. I have been blessed to be loved by so many people, and my daughter will also be blessed to be loved by so many
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