Ready...Set...AND NOPE

I’ve been contemplating the best way to start this blog post. I considered telling everyone that Blair gave birth today at three pm to a beautiful litter of puppies. Or telling everyone Ellie was here, we just decided to ship her to a different family and I was going to keep a water melon up my shirt. It’s late, I’m getting sleepy, but I’m trying to process my life as of the past two days.

Basically, here’s the skinny, I thought I was in labor. My body thought it was in labor. My body had some awesome contractions, I lost lots of mucus, and I got a great feel for what labor might feel like. But the real question is, what was really happening?

Just like my body is not so great at being pregnant, I’m not so sure it’s good at being in labor. It has no idea what’s going on, and so yesterday and today it was like, “Let’s be cray-cray.”

I feel foolish. I feel crazy, for not knowing what’s happening with my own body. I feel silly for calling my midwife here, not once, but twice, and for having my mom here and the Fairy godmother. I know that they all love me, I know that no one blames me, they are all incredibly supportive, but still. It made me feel very silly.

After trying lots of different things today and walking up a hill while having some awesome contractions and some other things, we decided to all go home. Maybe this is just my body preparing. Maybe something more will happen, maybe it won’t. Maybe my water will break, maybe it won’t. Maybe I’ll have more contractions, maybe I won’t. (That never did happen, and I’m glad, even though a few times I was just praying that ANYTHING would happen.) Truth is, we don’t know, can’t predict, and aren’t trying to. I love my midwife is so supportive, I love that my mom and best friend are completely not mad, and I love love love my husband.

He’s been amazing. You all have absolutely no idea. He was fantastic during some of the really hard contractions, and knew what I was saying when I couldn’t really talk. He worked just as hard as I did and even forced me to get up and do some things that he knew would help. After we sent our team home, he kinda got a little sad. I didn’t realize how much he was looking forward to seeing our baby girl.

I might go into hiding for a while. After everyone went home, I took a nap, relaxed, chilled. Woke up. Blair didn’t quite know what to do with himself and neither did I. So we went to see a movie. We drove for a while. My body has calmed down a lot. We are content in our waiting.

Please be patient with us. And know that this embarrassed me beyond belief. My ENTIRE family thought I was in labor. And a couple of friends.

So this is just another chapter in our pregnancy story. My crazy child doesn’t know what the crap she’s doing, neither do I.

We ended the night with burgers, Blair with a root beer float, and laughing while we threw fries out the window. We’re gonna snuggle and go to bed. As I’ve said before, I promise that when there IS  legit baby and not just a watermelon seed one I’ve eaten, people will know.

All in God’s timing ok? We’re still gonna wait, so you all will have to as well. J

Love,
Maddie and Blair