So Much Love

38 Weeks.

Belly? Henna'd. Huge. Uncomfortable.

Sleeping? What is that? Does that really happen? Can I roll from the left to the right side? No. If I don't do it fast it doesn't happen and I end up stuck on my back. I am a turtle.

Feeling? Hormonal. There were tears this week about wipes. There was anger at my husband about...well, wipes. And other assorted stupid stupid things.

Blessed?

Yes yes yes.

I feel the prayers. I feel the support. I feel the encouragement. Today I was surrounded by women and friends from my church who just...it was amazing. It made it all the more sweet that two of the people who made it happen have been going through some difficult things themselves. They still took the time to make this Card shower come together. Oh the sweetness.

I said it with Ellie, and I'll say it with baby Dean, I feel like Mary, treasuring all these things in my heart. The women who hug me gently and let me know they are praying. The ones who smile at me in church and tell me that me posting about my babies, ALL my babies, made them cry. The texts, the emails, the cards, the understanding. The offers to watch Ellie. The people who are coming home.

I am overwhelmed.

I am humbled.

We might not have to buy gas for the entire month of February. Wow.

We have money for food, groceries and elsewhere. Wow.

I have a book of support, prayers and verses (and some other pretty hysterical notes to make me laugh, hashtag whodidthat?). I have pictures. Ellie ended up with a bear (not intended for her) that she has been toting around and loving on. We have the most amazing artwork of the Tin Man for baby Dean's corner of the room. All the sudden, I really want to set up "his" space so that I can look at all the beautiful things meant for him.

Oh we are just...ready now. I'm ready for him to be here. I'm ready to hold him, I'm ready to fight, I'm ready to find out how God is going to use this little dude and his story for so many amazing things. I'm also very very ready to NOT be pregnant any more (seriously, the random projectile vomiting has got to go, I'm over it!).

From the very depth of my soul, to the people far and wide who are praying for us, I cannot begin to tell you how much you mean to me. I was telling a friend that we just don't know how well baby boy will do and she said "But Maddie, a lot of those other babies, while I'm sure they're loved, they may not have the power of prayer behind them like this baby does." It's true. So much power. So many good thoughts. So much love.

So much love.

What a wonderful way to end a hard week.

What a wonderful feeling to wrap myself in and dream of.