Mustard Seeds, Faith, and my Dad

First of all, I just transferred 1,3026 pictures to my external hard drive. 1,3026. 1, 3026?! Seriously, I'm glad that I know that there are people out there who are like me. Gives me some warm and fuzzies.

Secondly, tomorrow I'm going to start taking pictures for a wedding! I'm pretty excited about it, even if sometimes I get worried that people won't like my pictures. I'm gonna get over this, one day...maybe...somehow.

Thirdly, this weekend has been, you know, a weekend. To try and sum it up I would have to quote the parable of the Mustard Seed. Because this has been on my mind all weekend, and normally when that happens, it means that God is working on something in me.

The mustard seed. A tiny little itty bitty seed that Jesus says is just the right amount. Right! Right? What!? I get so mad at myself because I just don't think that my faith is big enough. I start to think about all these great people I admire, and their faith, my husband, my mom, my dad, my big brothers, their wives, and they all seem to have so much faith. Oh I know they struggle and they have things, but in my head it's never the way that I struggle.

Did you know, every month I think, "we won't be able to pay our bills". Every month. Add to this that we are still looking for a place to live and we are still trying to sell and get rid of a car that was a big huge bad mistake. And every month, God sends someone to calm me down, to remind me that He IS God and that I WILL be taken care of. Every month we pay ALL our bills and every month we are fine. At the end of every month, I think "Wow Lord, look what you have done!" You would think that I would have this rock solid awesome faith right? Well...some days I do.

When I was thinking about that mustard seed all I could think was that it was a seed. Seeds have to tended to, cared for, soil selected, sun shine needed. All these things go into making a simple seed grow.

There are days when I am spending time in the Word and praying and dwelling on the things of God. There are days when I wake up late and cranky and don't and that seed that I'm supposed to be taking care of does not grow. Do you see where I'm going with this?

I've just been thinking about it all weekend. What have you been thinking about?

And since I always post pictures, now would be a good time to talk about how my Beloved was gone for the most part this weekend (except that he got to come home last night and be home all day today!) and I spent a lot of time with my family.

My Dad always finds these really neat places, and I'm glad that I get to go with him sometimes. This time he took us all out to Williamsport Maryland where you can see some of the C&O Canal, it's a neat place, you should check it out. It was nice to spend the day with my Mom and Sisters and my Dad.

I like that he takes us places that are real, that have history behind them and are interesting. Here's this old broken down bridge and we think it's awesome, because, well, it is. I hope that I carry that with my for the rest of my life. That I find interesting old places and take my kids for picnics and to explore, spending time together.

As much as I'm like my Momma, I'm a lot like my Daddy too. I like these old places and the things that have that can teach us things. I like going to new places that aren't new at all, but have been around for years. My Dad is a cool guy, and every day that I'm married I thank the Good Lord that I found someone like him. Even today my Husband did something so like my Father that it infuriated me. If girls pick men like their Daddies, then shoot, I had the best role model ever, despite his faults and failures. :)

We all had a good time together, as well as a goofy one. I'm not sure how, but every time I'm with the Carrigan side of things, we get a little out of hand. Now, I'm not gonna explain this picture, but please accept it for what it is, and be thankful that you have a picture of me. 

Art Means DOING

So there's this spot in my town that I like to go to to take pictures and play and walk. It's a boat landing. There was a time when no one else ever went there and I would go dance in the parking lot, weren't those the good old days hm? I love this spot, because it's small town and romantic and all the sudden there are a lot of people there all the time. They made some land into a dog park...a dog park?! I have to admit to NOT being an animal person at all, so the fact that there is even a sign there makes me slightly mad. My little kid self thinks, but it was MY place FIRST.

Yesterday I took my fun new lens down to this spot though to have some fun, and fun I had. :)

As you can see I still have a whole bunch to learn about this lens and these are only the very images that I was working. I always forget how much I like going out to see what I can see, just to take pictures. I think artists sometimes are so concerned with what they will do with their creativity that they don't remember to enjoy that creativity. Oh Lord, let that never happen to me!

While I was there, there was a group of people out swimming in the river, why, I do not know. Yes it has been warm, no that water was NOT warm enough to swim in (I know I got my feet rather wet...). While I was on the embankment some people who were further out asked me in my name was Laurie and if I wanted to swim too. It was rather amusing. I'm finding that when you have a camera in your hands, people tend to think you are rather important.

Take the above two boys for example. I told them that I had a new lens and I was testing it out to see how it worked. I asked if I could take their pictures and they said yes. It was pretty hysterical  they yelled out to the people farther out "She's got a new Lens! She wants to take our picture!" They then shouted to me, "Will you take our picture too!?" "No, you're to far out!" I told them.

Those shots I got of those boys were some of my favorite so far. I can see myself really using and playing with this lens a whole lot. I was also struck by the thought that people don't see people doing art anymore.

Let me explain. I had the fortunate ability to travel to Italy after I graduated High School (if I could find those pictures I would post them!) and while I was there I saw art like you wouldn't believe. But the best part were the painters and artists on the street, sketching, photographing, doing. Be honest, when was the last time you saw an artist sketching a building while you were walking down the street? I think America really misses out on something because we don't get to see this physical action as much.

I remember once when I was not in school I took my sketch book and pencils to a local park. I drew pictures of kids on the swings and they came and asked me what I was doing, and asked if they could show my pictures to their grandma. She was creeped out at this stranger drawing pictures of her grandkids in the park, she told me she thought it was great.

It is interesting to me that we see so little artists out in the streets, and I love that I am not afraid to be out there with my sketch books and camera doing what I enjoy doing. Seems so simple doesn't it?

Art is a living breathing entity. It does. Look at Creation and what God has done. It didn't just happen. He made it. There was work involved, and you could see and can still see the action behind His words. If we are to call ourselves artists and photographers we can't be afraid to be seen doing things.

Just like those boys at the boat landing saw me taking pictures.

It gave me a warm fuzzy and warm fuzzies are meant to be shared. :)

This new lens is fun. Here have some more photographs.

And the nest for last, my God son Rayden Thor, who, I have decided, needs to be a wrestler. :)

Fish Eye Lens!

So every now and again I believe in buying "fun" things. An by fun things, I mean things that are within your means, that you keep telling yourself that you will buy, but you're always like, naw, I can't justify this. Every one out there can relate to this, don't tell me you can't! We've all got bills to pay and things to do and places to go and gas to buy, buying "extra" things is not always so easy.

But a few weeks ago, my Husband got a harmonica set that he wants to learn to use, and I said, well, I want a new fun lens for my camera. I have wanted one for a long time, and I keep saying I'll get it, but I never do. Because it's money that can be spent on groceries or gas or bills, and I just couldn't see myself ACTUALLY buying this new lens. It's hard work convincing yourself that you deserve something...

I finally did it though! So ladies and gentlemen I give you, the Fish Eye Lens.

So the fish eye lens is more of a creative fun lens than a hardcore serious lens (at least that the's way it seems to me!) and I don't think there are many photographers that would "justify" buying a lens for "professional" reasons. (I could be making that up, but that's kinda how I see it!) I love to take creative pictures. I love to get weird angles and make people feel good about themselves and I like to maybe try and use and do things that others don't. Hence this crazy looking lens.

It seems like so small of a thing, but truly, it makes me happy. I like adding to the things that I have, and I am not limited by this camera that I have. I do believe that no matter the photographer, fancy equipment doesn't make you BETTER at things like lighting and composition, it just gives you fancier EQUIPMENT. That equipment means nothing for personal style and god photography.

Anyway, I was super excited about this lens and wanted to share the very first pictures I've taken with it. :)

I'm gonna have to go out to the park or boat landing and play with this new lens now, so I'm sure I'll post more pictures soon, maybe tomorrow. God has been opening more doors for me to take photographs for people. I make even take a BIG step this weekend and make a Facebook Page...I've been avoiding that one. And I finally figured out why!

It's hard in this day and age to say "I'm a photographer." I feel that there are a lot of twelve year old's out there taking "Myspace" shots calling themselves photographers. And there are a lot of people out there now with really nice Canon's and Nikon's who truly ARE wonderful photographers. To group myself with and try to see if I could earn a living off of this is daunting. It might start slow, and I'm still unsure, but God is leading me more and more to look into to doing this for real.

So I will continue this journey and continue to take pictures of all these wonderful things that the Lord has created. Because after all, God's Art is all around us and in us and IS us. :)

My Mothers Legacy

So I was started dinner tonight, and it was a fun experience. I recently spoke to my sister in law, the amazing Lori Poo, who encouraged me to try new things in the kitchen (you know, I just thought of a very different way that that sentence could have gone...) and experiment because really, this is the only way you learn. And she's right. So now today for the first time I tried something VERY new.

When my Husband and I got back from our honeymoon, his mom (that wonderful woman) brought us groceries. I can't tell you how much I appreciated that. Here I was with my new husband and I have nothing to cook for him. As a young wife, this was sending me into pseudo-panic attacks. If you're anything like me, all you ever wanted was to be able to cook dinner for your husband, and I couldn't. All I could think was, Great, what an awesome wife I'm turning out to be. And here comes with lovely woman with a basket full of groceries for me. However, there was some stuff I didn't quite know about. Like the stuff above, what in the worlds is this I thought!?

Tonight I used it in a recipe. I made some chicken, made some Quinoa, sauteed some onion and garlic, threw in some chicken broth and spices and BOOM dinner is served, right?

If only things were so easy. I'm learning that cooking makes messes, and while I was prancing around my kitchen cooking tonight, all I could think was, I get it Mommy. I get why you told me to wash dishes while I worked, why you hated making dinner, and more importantly why you hated letting me cook in your kitchen. I just get it. My Quinoa was simmering and my chicken was ready to be added, so I took a second to do the dishes in the sink.

I think that Moms know things. I can see now, how, my whole life was a learning experience and my Mommy tried so desperately to teach me things. Like to pick up my clothes, to not leave wet towels on the floor, to make my bed, not to leave dishes in other rooms, and to clean your dishes as you cook. Now that I'm in my own house making my own rules I'm finding out that a lot of them are the rules that my Mommy made.

Dinner, in the end, was good, and it looked something like this,

It wasn't my very favorite, but it was edible, and my husband liked it, so really, that's all that matters right?

I think, more than cooking, I just liked being in my kitchen thinking about my Mommy and all the useful things that she taught me. I don't have anything to clean in my kitchen right now, which is why I can write this post. And if silly things like that stick in my mind, then I know, no matter what, I will never forget my Mommy and the things that she taught me. Even if I spent most of my life arguing with her and fighting her and being mean to her. Seriously folks, there was a good chunk of time my Mom did NOT like me, she'll tell you so herself.

But when I think about the way I run my own kitchen, I will always think of her. And I know this would make her happy, because this is the legacy that she left me; a good heart, a happy home, and a clean kitchen.

ZKP, Can't Wait!

So these pictures are from a long time ago, before I had even started this blog, but I love them so much that I decided to share them. Plus it's Sunday. Plus we're watching the Hobbit (you know, again...). Plus my Husband is playing Mine craft (again...). Plus I've been thinking about her wedding a lot. Plus I'm a bridesmaid. Plus I love my dress. There are lot pluses when it comes to this little Lady. :)

These two have known each other so long it's ridiculous. Seriously. They should have been married like three billion years ago. In fact, last August when I got engaged, I had a conversation with her about "you won't be mad at me if I get married first right?" Like a true friend, she told me she was simply happy for me. She and her Fiance traveled up to see me and mine with one purpose, to have an engagement photo shoot. Three hundred pictures later, we got some good ones.

I have know this lovely woman, Kimberly, since I was a Daisy in girl scouts. That's right, we were girl scouts, and we were pretty good at it, if I do say so myself. Kim lived a street over from me, and I remember riding my bike to go visit her. Now, she'll tell you that I used to be mean to her, and that I pulled her hair, I think she's delusional and silly. :)

When she called to tell me was FINALLY engaged, I think I might have screamed a little. I have been waiting for this and encouraging these two for so long, that I just wanted him to put a ring on it, and he did! And boy is it a gorgeous one!

We spent a good deal of time on Skyline Drive, which is one of my favorite places to take pictures, I've done it before, I can't help it. But this place to so special for them, because they often take weekend trips up to the mountains and to the Drive, and if I'm not mistaken, Skyline Drive is where Zach asked Kim to be be his Bride. it was a lot of fun, and I had a lot of pride and joy to be taking pictures of one of my best friends.

If you can't tell from these pictures how beautifully in love they are, then you are a silly, and maybe blind. We seriously had a lot of fun, and I can't believe they are FINALLY getting married this year, and that I get to be a part of that too!

Zach and Km, I'm so excited for you guys and I can't wait to be there for you wedding. Kimberly, ma'am, you are gorgeous, and you are going to make an absolutely STUNNING bride. I know I'm just a lowly bridesmaid, but if you wanted to plan a photo shoot for US, well, I wouldn't be adverse to that idea. ;)

We Are Like Sand

It's a little late for me, and I'm getting pretty tired. And by getting, I mean I am dog tired. 

My Beloved and I are learning so much, and I just wanted to type this out before I forget and can't remember tomorrow or the next day. Today is something I don't want to forget. 

I don't want to forget that my husband loves me enough to tell me he's sorry, or to tell me that I'm wrong. I don't want to forget that I sometimes unintentionally hurt people, and when that happens, I need to make amends. I don't want to forget that even though the love I have for my husband is a jealous love, he can and will spend time with other people, and I have to get over that. 

We are learning, oh we are learning so much. This first month or so of marriage has taught us that we have to make choices, and we have to learn boundaries, and we have to learn when to step back and when to step forward. It's an experience, that's for sure. But it's not one that I don't want to have. 

I signed up for this when I walked down that aisle, and God is teaching me so much about relationships and friendships and in laws and jealousy and how I might maybe sometimes overreact...

But I have this wonderful God who backs me up, and this wonderful husband that talks to me and calms me down and explains things and tells me what's what when it is what it is! 

I would not trade this last month in for anything. 

We are as sand by the ocean, constantly moving, constantly changing, constantly being made into something new.

My Cuteness and Opening Doors

I may not have spent my Easter with my family, but the people I did spend it with are no less important to me.

I got to see one of my God Babies. It's strange that at 22 I have THREE god babies, but I wouldn't have it any other way. I love babies, I love kids, and I love the fact that I get to be a part of their lives.

This right here is the Cuteness, otherwise known as Juliet. First of all I was there when this cuteness was born, saw her come out in all her glory and everything, and let me tell you, that's a sight that you can't forget. I was honored to be there to see her be born and it's an honor to be part of her life. Despite the ups and downs I have with her Momma, I will always be there to see this little girl be a goof ball. I also have this bad habit of taking WAY to many pictures of her, but I can't help it. She's such a beautiful work of Art that I can't help it.

This past Sunday she and her momma, poppa and baby brother (there for his birth too! I took some pretty amazing photographs! Seriously! Go to this blog post and read about it!) came up to our little house for some yummy stew and home made bread! Which I'm only slightly proud of...

We had a good time, and it's always good to see friends. And I had to take this opportunity to snap a few pictures of my cuteness. :)

I can't handle how amazing this family is and how much I love them. We are like a true family, we have our fights and we make each other mad and we fight, but in the end, we still love one another, and what more can you ask? She's my Cuteness, I couldn't ever abandon her.

Since things with my wedding have settled down, I've been able to think more about what God has planned for me. I still would love to pursue taking pictures for folks who love to capture those moments. This month alone I have one scheduled photo shoot, one wedding, and a very special wedding planned for 2014. These things keep falling into my lap, how can I ignore what God is planning for me?

Tonight my Dad, Mom and one little sister came up for dinner at our house. My father told me that he thinks I take pictures as good as the photographer who took my older brother Josh and his wife Karynne's pictures at their wedding (which you can see here). Now, I'm not sure I'm that good (yet) but the fact that believes in me enough to tell me that made my heart swell. It meant more to me than I think he knows, and with the support of a wonderful family and the most amazing husband in the world, and a God who's given me a passion to capture what He's made, who knows what I can do? If He keeps opening these doors, I'd be a fool not to walk through them.

I will continue to trust. And I will continue to take pictures of people and places I love.

I mean, c'mon, this cuteness is to much for you to handle to, admit it. :)

ps, Didja notice I had to change that watermark down there? No more Carrigan here! :)