Take Time to Play

My blog post tonight is about playing. Yes, playing. When was the last time that you played? And I mean, really just played? It doesn't matter what it was you played, it doesn't have to be dolls or toys or things you did when you were a kid. Are you passionate about kids? When was the last time you got to go hang out with some kids you love at a play ground? Are you passionate about biking? When was the last time that you just went for a pleasurable bike ride? Do you like to cook? When was the last time you played, and tried a new recipe? I think that when we get to that "grown up" point, we stop feeling like we can "play". But the other day, I was reminded that this isn't true, it isn't true at all.

It happened last Saturday when I got to spend most of the day with one of my best friends. We've had some tough times this year, I might have hurt her a little, her mom might have texted me, you know, it's whatever. I want to still spend time with her though (she's important) but this goof ball walks up into my room with a NEW CAMERA. And (might I add) ONE BETTER THAN MINE! So of course when I left the house I had to bring my old (and less shiny looking) camera with us.

After we were all done with our outing (which included Micheals) (and the purchase of Tye-Dye) we stopped at the park, pulled out our respective cameras and we....played. We walked in the cold around a park and took some photographs. And it was so much fun.

As I've started to take pictures for other people, I'm starting to realize how hard it can get some times, how it can literally be a chore, a job, work. So to keep that initial spark alive, to challenge myself and keep that passion I have for good quality pictures in my heart and head, I've decided to start playing.

Here are some pictures from that day, and a picture of one of the most beautiful wonderful young woman I have even been privileged to know, who, in my opinion is one wonderful piece of Art.

Obligatory Christmas Post

This is what I did today.

I love Christmas, I love spending time with family, and you know, this year, it was hard. It was hard because my almost four year old nephew wasn't her, or his little sisters, and his parents. My brother and sister (in-law) and their goof ball 6 year old weren't here with their foster son. My classy amazingly wonderful sister (in law) wasn't here either with my brother who played barbies with me. I miss them. I miss them a lot. It was hard because I had to be very unselfish and go out and serve breakfast to people who might not even care that I was "giving something up". I cleaned tables, and swept a floor, and wandered around like a chicken with my head cut off because I wasn't quite sure what to do. It was hard, because I fought with Blair. Well, maybe fought is to hard a word...I got irrationally (he says I was being completely rational) angry at him for going to help someone. (It's a long story...let's just say we both had a right to be angry at each other...but we've both spoken about it and forgiven one another. And when I say forgive, I mean we say that, out loud)

Growing up is not easy, and while I thought it was great that Blair and I would be living near both sets of parents (and I'm sure that one day when we have kids, we'll really feel that blessing) it also poses some challenges. I want to do stupid Carrigan traditions (we always watch THE Santa Clause, and the GOOD one, not that Tim Allen crap) and we always open presents youngest to oldest, and we also bum around Christmas Day. Traditions. I have to make room for a new family, and new traditions, and new things and that's hard sometimes. I don't always want to. But we all know I'm working on this selfish thing...

But you know what? In the end, today was awesome. I got to see his family open gifts, and we all got to talk to a loved one who is far away from us in a physical sense, but never far from our hearts. I got to be with Blair, and you know, I love him, I really do. I got to watch movies with my family. I got to serve others and it was awesome. I loved helping and running around and seeing people come and eat and enjoy themselves. I got to let my little sister play with my hair. She did like three different hair styles on my head. :) She's my wedding hair stylist. It's awesome.

I am blessed. I had presents to open. I got to give presents. I have a bed to sleep in, and an almost husband who knows how to let me be angry. I am blessed.

And this was a darn good Christmas.

"Merry Christmas ya Filthy Animal, 

And a Happy New Year. "

:)

ten points to whoever can tell me what movie that quote came from...

A Quick Love Note

I found some pictures that I just wanted to share. :)

Have a Merry Christmas Everyone, and enjoy some pictures of my Beloved and I. (and our delicious home made pizza that was EPIC!)

This could be a Christmas card
right? 

Before Marriage Counseling

See!? How can't you love that face!?

My favorite cup at our house, the
Owl Cup

The first pizza we made together, it was GOOD!

I just like to take pictures of everything, and I spend a lot of time with Blair, so go figure I have a million pictures of him. In fact, he's here now!

Good bye!

I Am A Work In Progress

I have no pictures for you tonight, only a semi heavy heart and willingness to share. I've been thinking a lot, and much has happened in the past week, but then again, something is always happening, right? Life doesn't stop, ever. It rolls and moves and undulates, like an ocean. At times, it is glassy, smooth, and reflects the light above it (like our lives), and at times, it is dark, and choppy, moving and changing direction and devoid of the light that lives above it (like our lives). What I've been thinking is not necessarily bad, but it's something that I've noticed in myself, that is not of Christ, and needs to be addressed.

When Christ was dying in the cross, in some of his last breaths, he tells a thief that his sins are forgiven, and that he'll be with him in paradise soon (Luke 23:42&43) In the midst of pain and suffering Jesus sees the needs of others again, and reaches out to that person.

I ask myself, what would I have done...and I don't like the answer. 

See, some people have told me I'm to hard on myself, that there are things that it's ok to be working on and reaching for, and I shouldn't be so hard on myself. But why not? Shouldn't be want to be better people, better friends, better daughters, better wives, better Christians? Shouldn't you want God to point out anything and everything to you that makes you not quite like Him?

If I call myself a Christian, I should always want to be better, should always seek to be more like Jesus.

I am selfish. And selfishness has nothing to do with who Christ was. I get selfish about my car that doesn't always work (even though I have enough people who are willing to make sure I get to work), I get selfish when my Beloved goes anywhere with out me (knowing he'll be back in how ever many hours), I get selfish when other people have nicer things than me (petty, but true), and I get selfish with my time. I would rather be doing something with Blair than helping someone else. I would rather be reading my own book than reading my Bible.

Maybe these things seem small to you, but they are everything to me, and I constantly shaping myself and allowing God to shape me into what he wants to be. So that is someone else is suffering the same as me, maybe more, I put aside everything I was feeling, and comfort and minister to them. I've fallen short on this many times, have hurt so many people who needed me. And while I don't believe that I can do everything or save any one (that is something that Christ alone must do), I just think that I could have been a little less selfish.

So I'm working on it.

And I felt led to share, because, well...we all have things. We are all trying to become what God wants of us, and if you aren't, then I pray that God is working in your life to pull you to him. I don't try to hide the fact that I'm bad at being a Christian, I am, we all are, we kinda suck at this, and you know...that's ok. Because Christ is constantly forgiving me and loving and pulling me closer and closer to him.

I find that the more that I serve him, and love him, and become less focused on myself...the more I fall in love with him, the more I see his character revealed.

What more could one ask of a King?

Thunder Baby Rotruck!

Every day that I go to work I get to see my god son, Rayden Thor.

I have many friends who have children, and there are a few who are extra special to me. Juliette, Conner, Elijah, Jack, Arianna, and little man Rayden. I have the joy and privilege of being part of these little kids life, a few of them I even got to see them be born. Some of them I refer to as "my babies" and Rayden is one of them.

His mommy and daddy are good friends of mine, I was even in their wedding! When I found out Hannah (Rayden's Momma) I had to go outside and shout into the January air because her own younger siblings didn't know yet. I took picture of her when she was adorably pregnant and it was in that car ride that I was asked to be his god mother. I take it seriously. To asked me be part of a child's life is no small thing. I look forward to seeing him grow, and watching him learn...it's exciting.

Well now, Rayden's Momma had to go back to work...and her mother and her family (who think that Rayden is the best thing since sliced bread) get to watch this little bundle of joy. Everyday, I send his Momma a picture from my phone. I've never been so happy that I have a phone and technology is as advanced as it is. I get to bring a smile to Hannah's face with a simple text message.

I get to change my own attitude too.

I woke up today on the wrong side of the bed. I was angry and grumpy and didn't want to care about any one, any where. But at some point, when I was looking at this little guy,

I realized how incredibly blessed I am to get to be around Rayden. I also realized that I have million pictures of his cute little self on my phone! 

I wanted to share a few of those pictures, and I wanted to send a special to his Momma;

"Blessed are you among woman, and blessed is the fruit of your womb!" 

It is wonderful to be a part of this little family! I pray for them all daily, and I can't wait to see Rayden grow up. (I'm also gonna be there when people start making fun of his name...let's face it, at some point Thor might get a little old for him...so I'm gonna be there when he has to fight kids at the play ground! Don't worry Momma, I'm a good scrapper!)

Mission Breakfast: Accomplished!

I'm on Skype with my Beloved while I try to write this. It might take me a million years, because he is so very distracting...it's not like he's doing anything, he's just there...and that's what's distracting...I can see his face, and I have to concentrate on what I'm doing or I'll be all over the place...and...what was I saying?

Oh. Hello. :)

It's been a busy weekend. Much has happened. The main thing was that my Beloved and I, we might have made the best pizza in the entire world. We made the dough ourselves, we cooked it in our little house, and we ate that sucker. Best. Pizza. Ever. And then, we utilized our wood shove, and that was amazing too!

We're too poor (by the standards of this world) to out to eat all that often (not that that influences us as much as it should) so we're learning to cook at home. To make our food. I don't know why we haven't done this before, because it has brought us so much closer together.

Today we invited friends over for pizza after church to enjoy some homemade goodness with us. They came up to our house in the middle of no where and we made our pizza for them. There was laughter and warmth and the small thrill you get when you have people at your house that you know you love.

Later, my Beloved and I made breakfast. I don't live with him you see, because, well, we aren't married yet. To live with him, would be sin. I would just rather not sin. Let's be honest, it doesn't do much for your walk with Christ...in fact, it takes you farther from Him. This makes it hard for me, however, because this is the man that I am going to marry, and I want to take care of him. I want to cook and clean and do laundry and put away the cereal (because he forgets so often) and I want to make him breakfast. He needs someone to make him breakfast. So, I did what any normal woman would do. I made something quick, easy, and delicious and put it in the fridge for him.

I made breakfast muffins, a huge deal in my house. My mom only makes these for when we go on long trips and we have to be in the car for a couple hours. Blair loves them, as he should, so I decided that I would make him some. We bought some groceries and got to cooking! We worked side by side in the kitchen, me making some food for him to take to work, him doing dishes (he loves me, you can tell) and you know?

 

It was wonderful. I never grow tired of being in his presence, I never get weary of hearing his voice, and I always want to feel his arm brush mine while I'm cooking in our kitchen. Breathing the same air as him is enough for me.

I saw a friend this weekend, and she said "I'm glad that he lets you out the house sometimes" what I don't think people understand, is that I don't want to be out of the house! I want to be with him all the time! And one day, when we have a pack of wild children's, I'm sure that might change, but for now, I soak up these times I get to spend with my Beloved.

(I also bought him some juice...that I proceeded to drink for most of the night!)

Write It On The Walls

As I settle down for the night, I'd like to stop and share just a few thoughts. Oddly enough, I don't have much to say about photography, though I do have pictures for you (because well, I always have pictures for you!). 

If there is one thing that I want for my house (and my Beloved wants also) it would be that our walls, our home would be covered in scriptures. All over. Every wall, every room, everywhere you look, we want you to know who we are, and what we stand for. There for, we have this before you even get in our door:

I love that verse, and what it means for the house I will be part of. I've been thinking more about what scriptures I want around my house, and where I want them. Obviously, I've thought about what I would put in my room, where my Beloved and I will be *ahem* sleeping (we're gonna be newly weds, I mean...c'mon!). So obviously, I've turned to none other than, Song of Solomon!

Now, this has always been a weird book of the bible for me. I've always read it, but could never truly understand it. Now that I have my own Beloved it kinda all makes more sense. For example, this verse, 

I've never felt like the drop dead gorgeous type. I've never seen myself as desirable or lovely or something that someone would love and covet and long for. (Believe me, this led me into a world of trouble!) But now when I read this verse, I think, "This is how he sees me." My Beloved sees only me, and no other woman. In fact, that's what's written there in orange "This is how Blair makes me feel, like I'm the only woman in the world." See, I know you think that your husband, or future husband, loves you a whole bunch, but I'll be honest, no man loves a woman as much as my Beloved loves me. And think, that this is the way it should be.

I want to write and paint these verses on the walls of our bedroom. I want our room to be set apart from all the other rooms in the house (and when we have kids, I know this might get thrown out the window, but for now, I like having my ideals). I like that our walls will be filled with verses that talk of love, and of belonging to one another. 

I find it interesting that when the woman is addressing her Beloved, she calls him her friend, and when he addresses her, he calls her his sister. It struck that even though, in marriage, we are lovers, we are also, still, brothers and sisters in Christ. It's amazing to me, these things I am learning about marriage. 

My Beloved and I have been doing our pre-marital counseling, and we talked about sex this last session. I've been ruminating on what it means to be intimate in a marital way. How much...more it is. I've also found this fun blog that talks more on physical intimacy as a married couple, and I have to tell you, it's been enlightening and I enjoyed reading it. (Go take a look readers...all...three of you who read...)

Just know that when I invite you to my house, there will be scripture on my walls. And know that in the room I will be sharing with my Beloved, there will be Song of Solomon verses, and if it makes you blush, just don't come in our room. :)

Some Family Time

I know I know, I already wrote once this week. But who's to say there's a limit to how much I can or cannot write? I like to write, therefore you, get blog post number TWO. Holy Molie!

I don't have to much to day however, I just wanted to share some more pictures that I got to take this weekend. I had the fortunate experience of meeting some new people, neighbors up the road from my future mother-in-law (who might just get her own blog post soon...as in tomorrow...mainly because she's really challenged me on my Faith in something!). They are wacky people up there in that little yellow house. It is full of kids and people and live and laughter and occasionally a screaming child, but hey, we all have things right?

She is the mother of six kids, with number seven growing and getting ready to cause a scene. They are Christians in every sense of the word, learning and teaching and constantly pushing themselves, and their children's to love the Lord. And I have the good opportunity to be part of their world right now. And you know what? I'll take it.

I want to be a mom. I'm looking forward to it in fact, and there is a very real possibility that I might be pregnant by this time next year (Lord Willing!). My future husband and I are do not believe that any child that God would grant my womb (yes, womb) would be anything BUT a blessing from Him. So when I see other couples who live that way, it makes my heart glad. Really what it is is that I know I am not the only one! Other people DO live this way! Their house is crazy but in reality, who cares? Their kids are well behaved and adorable and it's exciting. And I love it.

The mother of this family asked me to come take a few pictures of her kids, it's getting to be Christmas time you know, so on Saturday after the other photo shoot that I got to do, I headed over to THIS house to see some kids, and snap some photos. :)

And these are some of my favorites.

 

Well, It's A Start

I'm starting to realize that this little blog of mine is becoming a photography blog. Hmmm, I'm ok with this! As I start to trust God, and allow him to open more doors for me, I'm starting to realize, as time consuming as this is, that I really do love to take pictures for people!

So, are you ready for a story?

Saturday I had the privilege of taking pictures for the youth pastor of my church. He asked, I said sure, and boy did we have an adventure! They have a little boy, who is absolutely adorable, but who is very much a little boy! Trying to get that little boy to smile, was hard work! But so much fun!

                                             

We are very blessed to live near Skyline Drive with mountains and parks and some of the most beautiful things that God could create for us. We headed up there in their fancy van, and started to take a few pictures.

This family was so much fun to work with! Little guys are hard sometimes, but it was so worth it to get pictures like these!

I'm finding out that as much as I don't like to edit my pictures, sometimes, it's ok to. In most of these I boosted the color a little bit, and for December, I think that's acceptable. We could all use a little color boost now and again. 

And why don't you like to edit your pictures Maddie?

I'm so glad you asked! -start rant here-

I think that if you are going to cal yourself a photographer, if you are going  to go into business and do this as a job, then your pictures should be good. I'm not saying that you can't crop a picture every now and again, that you can't boost the color when you need to, I'm just saying that you have to have the basics down. Know what your white balance is, know what the F stop and aperture are, and how to use them. Know the basic rules of composition, and know how to move and keep up with your clients. Take good photos. I think that if you do that you rely less on the "fixings" that can be done in photo shop and things like that. 

I'm starting to learn that there is a lot of competition out there in the photography world. If you want to be the best at what you do, then learn how to be the best at what you do. Don't mess around. Learn, and continue to learn. As I start this journey, I'm finding out there is much that I didn't know. But, I'm learning, and taking on new challenges, and that's good. 

I am so thankful for people who give me the chance to learn (i.e. Lee and Jen!) and practice my so called skills. 

I took more pictures this same day, and once I get those edited (and make sure it's ok to use them) maybe I'll write about that experience!

And wish me luck! I'm off to take even MORE pictures tonight! 

Until next time friends, have a blessed day!