Madalynn Jaques : Obligatory Christmas Post

This is what I did today.

I love Christmas, I love spending time with family, and you know, this year, it was hard. It was hard because my almost four year old nephew wasn't her, or his little sisters, and his parents. My brother and sister (in-law) and their goof ball 6 year old weren't here with their foster son. My classy amazingly wonderful sister (in law) wasn't here either with my brother who played barbies with me. I miss them. I miss them a lot. It was hard because I had to be very unselfish and go out and serve breakfast to people who might not even care that I was "giving something up". I cleaned tables, and swept a floor, and wandered around like a chicken with my head cut off because I wasn't quite sure what to do. It was hard, because I fought with Blair. Well, maybe fought is to hard a word...I got irrationally (he says I was being completely rational) angry at him for going to help someone. (It's a long story...let's just say we both had a right to be angry at each other...but we've both spoken about it and forgiven one another. And when I say forgive, I mean we say that, out loud)

Growing up is not easy, and while I thought it was great that Blair and I would be living near both sets of parents (and I'm sure that one day when we have kids, we'll really feel that blessing) it also poses some challenges. I want to do stupid Carrigan traditions (we always watch THE Santa Clause, and the GOOD one, not that Tim Allen crap) and we always open presents youngest to oldest, and we also bum around Christmas Day. Traditions. I have to make room for a new family, and new traditions, and new things and that's hard sometimes. I don't always want to. But we all know I'm working on this selfish thing...

But you know what? In the end, today was awesome. I got to see his family open gifts, and we all got to talk to a loved one who is far away from us in a physical sense, but never far from our hearts. I got to be with Blair, and you know, I love him, I really do. I got to watch movies with my family. I got to serve others and it was awesome. I loved helping and running around and seeing people come and eat and enjoy themselves. I got to let my little sister play with my hair. She did like three different hair styles on my head. :) She's my wedding hair stylist. It's awesome.

I am blessed. I had presents to open. I got to give presents. I have a bed to sleep in, and an almost husband who knows how to let me be angry. I am blessed.

And this was a darn good Christmas.