Drink Deeply

I had a bit of a moment today. It's been happening more and more lately, and all day, I've been trying to put into words the way I felt today. Happy, proud, annoyed, done, frustrated, over it, content, discontent, worried, not worried, joyful, sad...those are some of the emotions I ran through this fine Monday.

I could go through a list of things that are "wrong" right now. I could tell you how worried I get and how frustrated I get at other people who have "better" things than me, or do "whatever" they want. I could be honest and tell you I get jealous and covet and I realize how important that commandment is, that we don't covet what others have.

I was simultaneously content and discontent today. It was strange. I thought about last night and curling up next to my husband and falling asleep right there in his arms. I thought about waking up that morning and how he made me breakfast and we got to work and at one point I just looked at him and thought, if we had more than one car, I would miss these little morning drives that I get to have with him.

As the day wore on, I got less and less cheerful. I'm not sure there's an exact reason, but I did. I lost sight, for however brief of a moment, of that contented joy I had felt that morning. I do not say this with pride. All day, my head has been going over the things that I know for sure, and my heart has been trying to tell me all the things I should be feeling: fear, worry, doubt.

I heard this song on the radio, a Christian station that my Beloved usually always has playing. It's from a band I don't normally like, but you should listen to it. Go ahead, just listen for a second.

At first I got mad, because as a Navy Daughter, I have the utmost respect for the military and for this Country that, though it has many flaws, allows me to worship my Lord. But as I listened more I was struck by the words.

It made me think of the American Dream, to own a house, and have two point five kids, and two cars, and fancy things. Is this what I've been wanting so much lately? I stopped, and counted my blessings.

The fact that my husband and I have no debt, the fact that every Sunday we go to Church and see BOTH our families, the fact that we always have enough to cover our bills, the fact that we have some saved up, the fact that my Beloved Loves the Lord. These are the things that seemed to slip my mind in thinking that I needed this American Dream. But the truth is, I have everything I already need. Another car? A bonus. A house of our own? A bonus. A new job? A bonus.

Let me make this clear, everything that I have, is from the Lord, and believe me, I know it, and He reminds me.

My other favorite part of this song is when he sings,

"Drink deep in the morning, see what the day will bring."

Drink deeply of the love that surrounds you, drink deeply of the Fathers life and freedom and grace, and don't just wake up, but greet the day. Welcome it in, because Life can be so beautifully lived. It's hard to think that at three thirty when you're driving alone to pick up one more application for an apartment, but it's the truth. 

Drink Deeply friends of this life that the Lord has given you. 

I would say I am, but I think it's better to say, I'm trying to.