My First Married Post

Well, I am officially a married woman.

There are so many things to write about, once again, that I can't even pin point what I want to write about! Story of my life!

Let's back up and start at the day BEFORE my wedding. Normally this is when you get stressed out, and I have to admit, I did. I waited a long time before it happened though! So that's good right!? See, the rehearsal and the dinner and all of that was just fine. In fact, it was amazing. I had help from family, who I happen to love very much, and friends from my camp. Andy, Kevin, and Marissa, you're help last weekend was astounding. I can't even being to tell you how much you being here and helping me as much as you did means to me. It just proves that Family is more than flesh and blood. My camp friends will always carry a special place in my heart. However, after all that was done, we had to go decorate for the reception. Enter my Stress Monster. I had to pack for my Honeymoon, I had to make sure that I had everything I needed, I needed to make sure that people knew where they needed to be...I felt like the list keep getting longer and longer. So we're at the reception hall, and I'm downstairs fighting tears and hiding while my family and friends are upstairs putting chairs and tables up and running around like mad men. My loving husband came down stairs and just held me and let me run around and hide. He knows that I will calm down, his quietness works well for my high strung heart. In the end, everything was fine. I can't...so many blessings. And so many people who love me. I can't even...I'll cry if I think about it to much, so just know that I know I am loved, and people mean so much to me.

My wedding day was a blur. I think my favorite moment was sitting in all my fancy underwear while my little sister curls my hair and I have a black shawl around me and I'm brushing my teeth. That's right, of all things, I forgot to brush my teeth that day. We ran late in some things, but I'm told that happens. I still got my alone time with Blair though, and it was everything that I wanted. I danced with my Father, and cried, I looked at my little brother during my ceremony and cried, and you know, the make up that my mother did still held up. I danced like crazy, and had to have my brides maid help me pee. I sweated, and looked a hot mess, and I love every single moment of it. My little flower girls were adorable, Beanie tried to comfort Ada during pictures because she was sad. I felt for the poor child...she was just so done. I don't blame her, I was getting there too. Later at my reception, I got to hold her and she gave me kisses. I couldn't ask for a better memory with people who I love so much. I danced with my new little sisters, and was so proud of my new little brother for giving a speech. We were blessed with so much more than we thought we would have.

I will never get over this, that my wedding day, was absolutely everything I ever wanted.

I have my mother and father to thank for that. My Daddy for providing the funds and keeping me on track, my Mommy for forcing me to think about every small detail. I know that other people's parents love them, but not the way that my parents love me. If I and my husband are half the parents they are I will be content. :)

There is so much more to come. I haven't even started on my Honeymoon! I can't wait to share pictures and some of the fun things that I got to do with my Husband. For now, rest in the knowledge that God is good, and that He is good to me. If you can't see that for you, know that He is working in my life, and that He will start to work in yours. I pray that everyone will know a fierce love like the one that my Beloved and I share. I pray that you are all well, and that you enjoy these ramblings.

Also, est memory of my wedding day? All the bathrooms in my house were taken, and I had to...ahem...GO...so I had to take care of business while in the bathroom with my mother. That's real life bonding if you ask me!

The Night Before

It is the night before my wedding.

There is no more planning, no more crafting, no more no mores, we are all done with that it's the real deal. I am exhausted. I have had goofy dreams about not having enough food, about getting roasted by a spit, and about people being angry at me for having to move tables. I almost had a mental break down today, but was saved by my big sisters, my mother, and some truly amazing friends, not to mention my Beloved, who knows that sometimes, I freak out, but in the end, I will be ok. I repainted my nails, drove all over creation, made my mother sob, and my Daddy shed a tear or two, and it's not even the real deal people.

I am Blessed. I will never forget the way that people rallied around me to help me get things done, the joy on their faces to help me organize tables and the friends who showed up to help even when they didn't need to.

I will miss being my Daddy's girl, the oldest one who lives at home in the basement, and I will miss randomly stopping to talk to my Mommy. It is bittersweet, all of this, but so amazing, because when I walk down the aisle tomorrow, I'll be walking towards the most amazing man that I have ever met and who I love so very much.

So I say goodnight, for the last time, as Madalynn Ruth Carrigan, because the next time I write to you all, I will be Madalynn Ruth Jaques.

I have never been so excited in all my life. :)

Bare Walls, Big Changes

I love pictures. Not only do I love to take them, but I love to hang them. I love having people's faces all over my walls and on my mirrors and behind my door, all over. To be surrounded by faces of people that you love, what more could you need? So if you walked into my room right now you would wonder, where are all her pictures?

My walls are bare, for the first time in about four years, there is nothing on the walls of this room except for the dry erase calender that I just haven't taken down yet. There are no pictures, no artwork, no crafts from summers past. If you looked into my closet, you'd see even less. There is no abundance of clothing, there is a  basket of shoes, a yellow traffic cone (don't ask to many questions), and a fan I bought this summer at camp when it was hot as all get out!

I'm moving out.

That through struck me this morning when my little sister (God Bless her heart) stood awkwardly at the door and told me, "Maddie it's snowing, but the sun is shining"...she seems to think that my groggy self cares about the weather (i don't...at all). But it's the fact that soon, I'll be living in a house with my husband. And it will be quiet. There won't be a little brother playing video games outside my door, there won't be dogs that I hate with a violent passion upstairs, there won't be Dad who gets grumpy about throwing toilet paper down the stairs, there will be quietness. Solitude, even though I'll be living with another human being.

I'm moving out.

My walls are bare.

And you know what?

It's just plain weird. :)

February 14th.

I know I'm getting marred in a week, I know that Valentine's Day is cheesy and goofy and Love should be expressed every day of every week of every month of every year.

I also don't mind taking a little time out of the day to make my Beloved feel special, and he did the same.

I've never had a real valentine's day, not really. I never had a boyfriend in high school, and last year my poor man has strep throat. We had Burger King and watched Tangled. It was a good day, but I love Romance.

And today, I was romanced. And I won't lie to you, I feel precious and worth while and gorgeous, and adorable, and priceless.

That's all I got tonight, here, have some pictures of what He did for me. :)

He made me dinner, and ate in our living room.

I love the Daisy's he bought me.

There were candles all over the place.

The sun set and dinner was hot and it was wonderful

HE MADE S'MORE BROWNIES FOR ME!

Something Old, New, Borrowed, and Blue!

So this month got a little bit crazy. (No kidding you might say, considering I'm getting married NEXT WEEK!? WHAT!? WHO KNEW!?) But I'm still trying hard not to neglect this little blog of mine. I've been waiting for something that I really REALLY wanted to write about though. And you know what? Tonight I found it!

I'm still trying to write about this whole getting married process, still as a way to remember all the things that are going on right now and all the feels that I have. Yes, I said feels. You must deal with this. This month has been full of feels. Good ones and bad ones and angry ones and for the first week of the month, stressed ones. It's gotten better. This week I realized I'm getting married at the end of next week and got stupidly excited. There is no other way to say that. :)

As every good bride knows, there's a rhyme that one must adhere to. Some brides might not, but those silly traditions are things that I love. And I'm excited about all my things so I figured I'd tell you about each thing and the why of each thing. Let's start!

Something Old
My Mom's Mom, my Mawmaw won't be at my wedding. At first, because I am, as we all are, a selfish human being, upset about this. I wanted them so badly to make a way to get to my wedding. I love my Mawmaw and Pappaw. I love them very much and very deeply, and it feels like to long since I have seen them. So I decided tonight, that in honor of one of the most amazing woman I know, that I wear earrings that she gave to me. Opal earrings that will fit into the second holes in my ears. My something old. A tribute, however small, to someone who means so much to me.

Something New
My dress! Duh! Let me tell you something, when they tell you that the dress chooses the bride and that when you know, you know, it's the truth! My dress was the second one I tried on, and we all knew! We you might ask? My Momma, my two big sisters (sister-in-law really, but I love them to much for them to be in-laws) and a what, five day old baby? That's right! My five day old niece helped me pick out my wedding dress! I can't wait to tell baby Izzie that she was there when I found that dress! We found it in Tennessee when we were there to meet that new little girl.  My ring was still brand new, we hadn't set a date yet, and we had to send my Daddy a picture of me in my dress through a pic text. He was so wonderful. I think what really made that day so special was my Daddy's support, and the look on my Momma's face when he told her I could get it. Every girl deserves to feel like a Princess on her wedding day. I never thought I wanted that so much until that silly dress. Every time I see it, and wear it, or think about it, I think about my Daddy. How much he loves me. How much I'll miss him...even though I'll be down the street. That dress is more like a symbol of love form my Family, so it means so much more to me.

Something Borrowed
This one took a while. Tonight I sat at the kitchen table with my mom and little sisters, talking about wedding things. I had my computer upstairs and we were listening to songs for the Reception. My little sister Evie was doing my hair, because she IS doing my hair the day of my wedding. (Apparently I haven't been around to let her play and that was stressing her out! Poor girl!) After we finally figured it out, and I'm trying my dress on, and we're talking about this, I ask them if any of them have a simple cross necklace. Evie pips up and says, "I do!" So my something borrowed is from my little sister! I love it! I love that so many things in my wedding are from people that I love. And that little necklace looks like it was made just for me to wear. :)

Something Blue
Super excited about this one! My shoes are my something blue! While wandering around Target a few months ago I saw these wonderful slippers that looked like moccasins, they were warm and fuzzy and had sequins! I exclaimed, "Babe! Those are my wedding shoes!" So many women wear those simple white slippers on their wedding, so why shouldn't I wear my blue ones!? And if you know me, you know I don't even LIKE shoes, not really, and I have like three pair of slippers that I wear all over the place. I should really stop that...:)

Also, just so everyone can know and be proud, I haven't bitten my nails at all.this month. Not even ONCE. (I'm a nail biter, be PROUD!)

I'll try to pretend that I'll write more before my wedding, but I might not. And I probably won't be writing on my HONEYMOON, so if y'all don't hear from me until March, just know I'm not dead yet. :)

Three Weeks?! Holy Moly!

So my younger brother keeps telling me "Three Weeks Maddie, three weeks." I'd much rather say 25 days, it makes me feel like I have more time to get things done. And while I have most things done, and it's exciting, and I'm excited, there is still much to get done, as you can see from this list I made yesterday morning.

And in case you don't notice, I have crossed off a lot of things (and used a lot of different colors!). I'm slowly but surely getting things done, and it's truly an amazing thing. I even gathered a bag full of things to send to the woman who is arranging my fake flowers for all my bridesmaids. She needs those pins and that raffia for the boutineers and corsages!

I'm making head way. And feeling more and more the crunch of time to get things done. There are a few things that I've had done for months, like the head bands that I plan on giving my bridesmaids, flower girls, and my Beloved's younger sisters.

I love that those were done, when my Big Sisters surprised me at my Wedding Shower, I got to put my little niece Ada Bug in her head band. She loved it. She's very excited to be a flower girl, and I must say, I'm excited to have her in it. For the rest of her life I can show her pictures and say, "See, see how cure you were in Aunt Maddie Poo's wedding?" She might hate me for it, but it's still gonna happen.

Today was dedicated to painting my Sign In tree. Instead of going with the traditional book, I decided to make a tree, where people can put their thumb prints at and make leaves for our tree. If I can opt for artwork to make for my future house you'd better believe that I'm doing it! I did this tree once already, and hated it so much that I decided to do it again. This time, I started with the words I knew I wanted on it, and then worked around it. 

I've never been very good with calligraphy (shocking, I know) but I decided to give it a whirl for this project, and even though it took me almost an HOUR to just paint words, I powered through. And in the end, the Sign In Tree looks awesome, and I can't wait for people to add their thumbprints to fill our tree.

As I've been going through this wedding planning process, I've been trying to blog/write about it. Mainly because everyone keeps telling me that you don't really remember everything about your wedding, all the small details. My mom wants me to write about it more than I already do! (Don't tell her, but as much as I love her, she's more Bridezilla than me...and I decided that that's a good thing, because then, I get things done!) But here I have this wonderful blog to look back on read about the wedding planning (and a few things that happened in between) and how much I kinda really enjoyed it. My wedding is very much a reflection of who I am, and hopefully who my Beloved is. (Men really just don't care I'm finding out) I want people to feel the love that we have for one another, for our Lord, and for our families.

And really, this is the most amazing God Art of it all, that we can know love, that we can share love, that He loves us.

"So now faith, hope, and love abide, these three;
but the greatest of these is love."

-1 Corinthians 13:13

30 Days!

It is exactly 30 days until my wedding. And I am so stupidly excited that I can't even begin to tell you how happy my heart is...but...I'm starting to feel the sting of separation. I've been reading the Bible (well, ok that's weird to say, because I always do...but...lately this has been on my heart...) and I've started to read the Proverbs. This book of the Bible has so much to say about Wisdom, how to use it, where to use it, who to gain wisdom from. Much of it goes back to parents.

When I read the above passage all I could think was that the garlands for my head and the pendants for my neck must be heavy and beautiful, because my parents tried to give me so much wisdom and advice and sound judgment that this must be true for me.

As I try to transition from daughter to wife, I find myself having trouble sometimes. I don't always like people, I get jealous (especially of my Beloved's time) and I am still ruled by emotions at least once a month. But I do try to remember all the things that my mother and father have taught me. Because they are the best people I think I will ever know, and they have given me so much information. And you know? Even though I'll be down the road, I'm gonna miss them a whole bunch.

I keep studying the Word though, to see what info it can give me, to take into my heart all the wisdom that the Lord could have to offer me. Because as we all know, those who walk with the wise becomes wise. :)

Also, this is just a side note, but I love coffee, and I think that whenever you open your bible, you should have coffee. No morning is complete without it.

Other side not, I really am getting married in 30 days! 30 DAYS! :) To THIS guy,

Isn't he handsome? ;)