'Cause You Had A Bad Day...

I think it's fair to explain to you all that some days, some days I just don't do well.

It's easy to think, when you see me on a good day, oh she's just fine. It's no big deal. I guess I have what you could call a "chronic illness" and I used to not understand that, but now, oh gracious, I do.

I get that you will have a series of good days, and that you will be able to go and do and accomplish. I realize that those days are what you live and yearn and long for. I get it now.

So I understand what bad days are really like now.

It's not graceful, it's not fun, it's not ok. It's annoying, frustrating, and so incredibly discouraging. You start to think, it's getting better, I'm getting better. Then you wake up at three thirty and throw up bile with flecks of blood. Then you do it again at four thirty. Then again at seven. At that point, you start to think, "Why do I even look forward to the good days? The bad days are just to bad..."

Today I feel pessimistic, frustrated, and I didn't make it far from my bed. My stomach has hurt continually, yes, after trying to eat, which was hard work, and I'm just...tired. I don't feel vibrant and excited. I don't feel any glow.

These are the days when I want to go to sleep and stay asleep until labor in June.

This is the work, the hard part for me. The pregnancy part.

Some days are just bad days.